peace in the face of change


Have you noticed how some people just seem to breeze through life with comparative ease. Nothing seems to hold them back and they handle problems in a matter of fact way, efficiently and with minimal stress.
These people have an emotional resilience and tolerance for managing stress that most of us would covet. They have the right frame of mind to be able to cope and they are not afraid to face life’s conflicts head on.
Most people would agree that it’s all too easy to get caught up in the negative. Every day we hear that these are difficult times, yet ‘difficult times’ sum up mankind’s history wouldn’t you say?
Cultivating a positive mental attitude certainly helps folk to be able to reduce the harmful impact of the types of stressors that we all have to face every day such as potential job loss, bereavements, financial concerns or poor health.
But how easy is it to do that? Before stress becomes a serious problem for you, why not have a go at applying the following stress reduction techniques.

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1. See any problems that arise as solvable.
With the right frame of mind, any problem can be solved or certainly alleviated. Write down any problems or concerns and think about options.
Half of the battle when fighting stress triggers is the emotions and mental conflicts they bring up. In our confusion about how we feel many people unwillingly incubate the problem allowing it to grow bigger and to become more of a concern through fear, guilt and shame.
One method for gaining perspective, clarity and distance is to write a problem down. It helps to encapsulate it and make it an isolated and tangible issue. So here’s what you do.
Write out the problem, get it out of your system and onto paper.
Read it through and cross off any emotional statements you have made about it.
Write it out again, just putting the facts on to paper, nothing more.
Now write out a scenario where the issue has been resolved.
Read through it again. How did you fix the problem? What steps did you take?
You have created a plan. Now implement it.
Stepping back from the issue always gives you the inner resources to discover what to do to resolve it. So get out that pen and paper and let the ideas flow.

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2. Understand that change is a part of everyday life.,
Although change can be unsettling and a genuine cause for concern, it’s vital that change is also seen as an opportunity. Change after all is Life. Even if you resist the idea of it, or try to avoid it, it comes into your life.
Without change we would literally die. When you accept change as normal and acceptable you get to enjoy the Life as a journey rather than a trial.
Inviting it in makes you more adept, resilient and adaptable. As a result you will get more out of the exciting changes that enter your life and you will get through and over the tougher times with resolve and a smile on your face.

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3. Fear of rejection gets in the way of your success.
The problem with rejection is that it pulls deep at the strings of out self-esteem. It undermines our sense of self-worth and makes us feel terrible.
The worst part is that we often play out the scenario over and over again wondering what we could have done differently to change the outcome.
The bottom line is that rejection and failure is part of everyone’s success story. If you don’t understand that then both the fear of rejection, and experiencing it can be devastating. If you do, rejection may feel uncomfortable but it will accelerate the flow of progress in your life.
The key to managing your negative stress response to rejection is to be kind to yourself. Listen out for berating inner talk and counteract it. Focus your mind on something calming and positive. Create a good feeling space in your body and stay in it.
Just like accepting and embracing change, accept that this is an opportunity to grow. Actively seek out the opportunity and positive possibility in the moment by asking “what is the opportunity here, what’s totally possible now?” Be in the present moment. Breathe and smile.
Then simply repeat the process until seeking the opportunities and positive possibilities become your second nature.

4. Live a full and varied life
There is more to life than work and family or striving to achieve and being in service to others.
Don’t you think it odd that so many people talk of living in wealth and freedom, but end up being slaves to their hurry up and wait lives.
One of the greatest barriers to stress is letting go of the things we should for a specified amount of time, and participating in activities simply for the sheer enjoyment and pleasure of it.
Despite what you may feel or believe, you do not need permission to have fun. You do not need to earn the right to play and laugh. it is an inborn right to enjoy life fully in the moment.
Restful, absorbing pursuits relax your mind and release your troubles. It is healthy to become completely occupied with something, giving all your time, energy, and mental energy to it.
So go on, if you have not done so yet now is the time to get a hobby and follow your interests and passions. You might want to also cultivate the non-activity of Dolce Far Niente – “the sweetness of doing nothing”.

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5. Ask for help when you need it.
Let’s be honest, every one of us feels overwhelmed from time to time. The term ‘No Man is an Island’ is a truism so why is it that so many of us feel uncomfortable, foolish or afraid to ask for help?
Perhaps part of the issue is that we live in a world that tends to emphasise the attribute of self-sufficiency and self-accomplishment. Yet the truth is nothing of any scale is ever accomplished in isolation.
The truth is, human beings are tribal. We are ‘herd animals’. There is no getting away from it, we’re meant to do things together. It’s time to accept that you are not supposed to bear all the burdens on your own.
Yes I understand that requesting help may suggest weakness and it also opens us up to feeling obligated and rejected. So, we struggle, and chase our tails, and wear ourselves out single-handedly trying to move mountains
So how can you get over the fear of rejection and ask in a way that will get you what get just what you need?
The answer is to ask intelligently. What I mean by this is:
Let of of your expectations and ask without the need for someone to say yes
Give people permission to say no, and if they do, move on and talk to someone else.
Ask, don’t demand.. Leave the emotion and drama out of it.
Whenever possible be clear about what you want. Ask directly and clearly
Ask someone that has the willingness, ability and resources to help
I can tell you this method works because it takes the pressure off yourself and others. Start by asking for small things, like getting a lift into town with someone already going in that direction, or borrowing a cup of sugar from a neighbor who is baking on the same day as you.
Just like with other things in life, the more often you practice asking the easier it gets. You may be surprised at how fast you get what you need and how happy people are to help.
So what do you think?
Did you find the stress reduction strategies in this post useful? What would you add? Comment below, please. I would love to hear your suggestions.

This article was adapted from an article by Maya Mendoza
Special thanks to Zen Lama

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